Unpacking the whole ‘sins of the father’ thing

There’s a popular proverb around in Ezekiel’s day.

The parents eat sour grapes,
and the children’s teeth are set on edge.  Ezekiel 18:2

And God wants to set the record straight. And it’s simple.

The one who sins is the one who will die.  Ezekiel 18:4

The good man – the righteous man – will surely live. And just to be clear what a righteous man is like, there’s a list.

The righteous man:-

• doesn’t worship any other gods
• doesn’t commit adultery and is respectful of women
• doesn’t oppress anyone and pays back what he borrows
• doesn’t steal but provides for those in need
• is fair and just
• obeys God

If this man has a violent son, who kills or does any of the above things that his father has not done, will the son be spared because the father is righteous? No way!

But if this son has a son of his own, who sees all the sins of his father and does not do them himself, then he will not be punished for his father’s sin. He will surely live.

And if a wicked man turns away from his wrongdoing and turns to God and starts to live a godly life, then he will surely live. Conversely, if a righteous person turns to a life of sin, they will be punished.

The people are grumbling that God’s ways are not fair.

‘The way of the Lord is not just.’  Ezekiel 18:2

But what’s not fair about this? This seems perfectly clear and perfectly fair to me. It’s basically this –

Therefore, you Israelites, I will judge each of you according to your own ways, declares the Sovereign Lord. Repent! Turn away from all your offences; then sin will not be your downfall.  Ezekiel 18:30

God yearns for everyone to turn to Him and get a new heart and a new spirit.

For I take no pleasure in the death of anyone, declares the Sovereign Lord. Repent and live!  Ezekiel 18:32

The way we live our lives every single day matters. Every day counts. Every choice we make leads us towards life or towards death. That’s why we have the phrase ‘life-giving’. We know what is life-giving in our world. Connection. Love. Fresh air. Healthy eating. Appreciation of nature. Being there for others. Caring properly for ourselves. Laughter…you will add to this list for yourself, I’m sure.

And we know all that drains the life from us. Greed. Selfishness. Lack of respect for others. Dishonesty. Abuse of self and others. Lack of real connection. Gossip. Putting others down…

Each one of us is responsible for our own actions. That’s not to say that what a parent does has no affect on their child. Sometimes the wrong things that a parent does have far-reaching consequences that cause suffering to their children. But this suffering is not a punishment for the child for the sins of the parent. This is a natural consequence of the sin. Sometimes it’s not just us that suffer the consequences of our choices. It’s those around us too.

Take Foetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder, which we’re learning a lot about at the moment, as it’s affecting our adopted children. A mother drinking alcohol in pregnancy has serious consequences for her unborn child. Lifelong consequences. The foetal brain is affected by the alcohol. Damaged. The child will have a range of difficulties – physical and mental – as a result of this. That child is not being punished by God. That child is a child of God. In fact, these children are amazing little people with incredible strengths and talents and our three have brought much joy to our lives. But they do need additional support and supervision and will do their whole lives as they do seem to have a huge capacity for making poor choices. This invisible disability is not an excuse for them to get away with wrong behaviour though. Whatever struggles they have, they are still responsible for their own actions. It is still their responsibility to make the right choices and to choose life (and to be given the opportunity to do this with the support of parents, teachers, friends, social workers etc).

There will be things that others have done that will have affected each one of us. But it’s clear here in this passage that this is not us being punished for the sin of someone else. This is a natural consequence of sin. It hurts others. But whatever suffering anyone else has caused us, that is not then an excuse for us to then go and on and hurt someone else. There’s never an excuse to turn away from what is life-giving and of God and turn to wrongdoing or deceit or exploitation.

Each one of us will be held accountable for our own thoughts and hearts and actions (which I do believe is not as entirely black and white as all that, because God is a God of mercy and for some, because of what is happening to them, it is much harder to make the right choices and do the right thing than others…but that’s for another day).

God is just and fair.

For the most part, what happens to us is down to us and the wise, life-giving choices or the poor, life-draining choices that we make along the way.