But how have you loved me?

Can you believed that we have arrived at the last book of the Old Testament? What a journey it’s been!

I know it’s been a while since my last post. It’s been quite a time for me. I’ve been struggling for weeks with my asthma triggered by a cough and a cold. I was in survival mode, doing the bare minimum to get by; waiting for the day when I could breathe freely again. And I’ve been waiting for the arrival of my first grandchild too. I was convinced she would be early, but no, she made us wait. But now she has arrived, that long wait has been forgotten and she is the light of my life. She melts my heart.

And my story has parallels to where we are in this journey through the Bible: struggling, surviving, waiting….

This is the book of Malachi. Malachi means ‘my messenger’. It was not generally used as a person’s name. So maybe this messenger of God wasn’t actually called Malachi; maybe that wasn’t his given name. What’s clear is that this is his purpose. He is a messenger of God.

The temple has been rebuilt following the return from exile of God’s people in a foreign land. But the dedication of the people to their God is not what it should be. They’re drifting again. Their worship is half-hearted. The sacrifices are second rate. The priests are doing the bare minimum. They’re in a rut, going through the motions.

This is the situation that Malachi shines a light on. He speaks God’s truth.

‘I have loved you,’ says the Lord.

But you ask, ‘How have you loved us?’  Malachi 1:2

The people have lost sight of God’s love for them. They’ve forgotten how much God loves them. They look around them and can’t see much evidence of God’s love. The surrounding nations are doing better than them. They seem more blessed and prosperous than them.

I have a daughter who struggles with the concept of love. For her whole life, she has required me to prove that I love her every single day. That proof for her comes in a very material way: in the way I provide for her and give her what she needs. And so when I say no, that’s a sign that I have stopped loving her. It’s that black and white for her. Love is not a constant state. She doubts my love all the time. She looks for evidence that I have stopped loving her.

You don’t love me any more…

If you loved me, you would…

You love the others more than me…

You say you love me, but…

No amount of me telling her that I love her makes any difference. She needs proof.

Some of my other kids don’t question my love. They know that I love them. They just know. They’re secure in that love. They know I’ll love them whatever they do.

She does not find that security in love. She suffered severe neglect as a baby. She cried and no one came. She was not fed when she was hungry. Her needs were not met. That’s why she came to us in the first place.

And so my job is to never let her down. To show love in action every single day. To protect her and provide for her and meet her needs (although we still disagree over the definition of ‘need’!)

Every day, it is this:

I have loved you.

But how have you loved me?

At the time of the messenger Malachi, God’s people do not seem to be secure in His love for them. They look around and ask ‘But how have you loved us?’ They don’t feel God’s love for them deep within their hearts. They don’t seem able to rest in His love, to know that whatever their external circumstances, God’s love is a constant.

And yet their history as a people spells out how God has shown His love for His people over and over and over again. He’s delivered them from slavery in Egypt. He’s protected them and provided for them. He’s shown them the best way to live in community, the best way to establish a sustainable society.

And yet that is not enough.

Malachi calls the people to consider the descendants of Jacob and Esau: how they, the descendants of Jacob, have been chosen and loved by God compared to the descendants of Esau. They want proof? There’s the proof right there.

God’s chosen nation is built on the proof of God’s love for His people.

And yet that is not enough.

God’s people seem to be like my daughter. They do not feel secure in God’s love. Remembering is not enough. They need proof every single day. They doubt God’s love for them. They live in fear of losing it. They need to see it in material ways every day to believe it.

It’s the same in the world today, isn’t it?

There’s that question the world is wrestling with: How can you believe in a God of love when there’s so much suffering in the world?

We look at the evidence all around us and doubt. We cannot see how God can love us and allow all this…

God is saying ‘I have loved you’.

And we are asking ‘But how have you loved me?’

There are some who have found a security in God’s love for them. They rest in God’s love. They just know it. They don’t need proof. When good things happen, they don’t say ‘That proves God loves me’, any more than when bad things happen they say ‘That proves that God doesn’t love me.’

It just is.

God is love.

He has loved me; He loves me; He will always love me.

As a parent, I get that. That’s how I feel about my kids. My love for them is not changeable, not dependent on how I feel or how they behave. I will always love my children. It’s a given. And if I can love like that, how much more can God?

I don’t question God’s love for me. I am in a place where I know that God loves me, whatever happens in my world. I’d love to be able to tell you how I’ve arrived at that place, but I can’t put it into words.

It just is.

God is love. I know that to be true.

It’s a good place to arrive at. There is a rest to be found in that assurance. I don’t need proof. I don’t find myself weighing up the evidence at the end of each day.

I wonder where you feel you stand.

Maybe you struggle to believe in a God of love. I can understand why that could be the case, I really do. There’s a lot of suffering in the world that makes no sense at all.

Maybe when God says ‘I have loved you’, you reply ‘But how have you loved me?’

And God will find a way to convey His love to you. Maybe not in the material proof that you seek – maybe not in prosperity or success or good health. We cannot depend on those things. But maybe God will find a way to speak His love into your heart. Maybe He will whisper ‘Guess how much I love you’ into your heart and mind and soul…