Trusting the God of the universe

This feels like a hurricane. Right here. I’m all alone in my Dad’s house waiting to go visit him later, having spent most of yesterday with him. He’s in hospital. He’s suffering. It isn’t easy to see. I feel completely helpless. Nothing I do or say seems to make any difference. Confusion, pain, paranoia, suffering and negativity are swirling all around us. I can’t see straight. I can’t think straight. I don’t know how it has come to this.

And so I sit. I wait. I turn to Job 38.

Who is this that obscures my plans
with words without knowledge?
Brace yourself like a man;
I will question you,
and you shall answer me.  Job 38:2-3

This is God’s challenge to Job. Job has spent all his efforts trying to understand. Trying to explain. And he’s ended up confusing the issue. Muddying the waters. Obscuring God’s plans with his own words and interpretation.

And so I sit. I wait. I say nothing. I refuse to speculate. I refuse to agonise. I refuse to seek an explanation.

God takes us back to the beginning of time. To the start of all things. Before I existed. Before Job existed. Before man existed at all. He takes us back to Creation.

Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation?
Tell me, if you understand.
Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know!
Who stretched a measuring line across it?
On what were its footings set,
or who laid its cornerstone—
while the morning stars sang together
and all the angels shouted for joy?
Who shut up the sea behind doors
when it burst forth from the womb,
when I made the clouds its garment
and wrapped it in thick darkness,
when I fixed limits for it
and set its doors and bars in place,
when I said, ‘This far you may come and no farther;
here is where your proud waves halt’?
Have you ever given orders to the morning,
or shown the dawn its place,
that it might take the earth by the edges
and shake the wicked out of it?
The earth takes shape like clay under a seal;
its features stand out like those of a garment.
The wicked are denied their light,
and their upraised arm is broken.
Have you journeyed to the springs of the sea
or walked in the recesses of the deep?
Have the gates of death been shown to you?
Have you seen the gates of the deepest darkness?
Have you comprehended the vast expanses of the earth?
Tell me, if you know all this.
What is the way to the abode of light?
And where does darkness reside?
Can you take them to their places?
Do you know the paths to their dwellings?
Surely you know, for you were already born!
You have lived so many years!  Job 38:4-21

So Job, where were you when I created all things, you who like to think you have all the answers? You who want to have it all explained. You who think you can understand the mind of God.

It’s a beautiful piece of poetry, isn’t it? Try reading it aloud. There’s a hint of humour in the questioning. A gentle teasing.

Tell me, if you understand. 

Surely you know! 

Have you ever…?

Have you journeyed…?

Have you seen…?

Have you comprehended…?

Tell me, if you know all this.

Surely you know, for you were already born! You have lived so many years!  

I sit. I wait. I consider some of the marvels of Creation.

I reflect on the dimensions of the universe. The plans. The foundations. The cornerstone. Who could even conceive of such enormity? Who other than God would even know where to begin?

I reflect on the seas. The strong, powerful waves that pound on the shore that go so far and then go no further. Who can contain the oceans?

I reflect on the morning. The sunrise. The day that breaks every single day without fail. We rely on it. We revel in the opportunities that a new day brings. We take it for granted. Who brings about this miracle, day in, day out?

I reflect on the farthest corners of the earth. The still undiscovered places. The unvisited deepest depths. Unexplored places that have never seen the light. Undiscovered species still to be named and identified. The source of water. The source of life. The source of darkness. The source of light. Who else knows the way to all that we humans have left to know and discover and make sense of?

I sit. I wait. I struggle to trust that God knows what He’s doing. But why? Why is it so hard to trust God?

God is beyond human understanding.

God is all powerful.

God is ever faithful.

It’s there for all to see, writ large across the universe.

Why does it seem so hard to put my trust in a God like that?

Maybe because I have forgotten how to reflect.

I have forgotten how to lift my eyes.

I have filled the space with pointless questions and explanations. I have gone round and round in circles trying to make sense of it all. It feels like the right thing to do. It feels like what is expected.

I have forgotten how to be still and know that God is God.