Don’t praise me, praise my God

So yesterday I shared about some of our struggles as a family right now and we received lots of messages of encouragement and support, which were really lovely, so thank you, all of you. Comments saying that we are inspirational, strong, brave, loving…which are great to hear, of course, but made me feel a bit uncomfortable.

Uncomfortable for two reasons.

The first is that we’re not the amazing ones here. Our kids are. They have to show strength and courage every single day. They’re the brave ones. They have had so much to deal with on a daily basis that I cannot begin to understand – lack of understanding, bullying, unrealistic expectations, judgement, rejection and so much more. And still they keep showing perseverance and forgiveness and courage to live in a world that doesn’t understand them and doesn’t accommodate them and doesn’t allow them to be themselves. And they are still kids. They amaze me.

Secondly, I really mean it when I say it’s not me. I’ve not survived this on my own. I’m nothing special. I’m really not. Ask anyone who lives with me or knows me well. I regularly crumble. I regularly get to the point where I say ‘I can’t do this any more’; ‘I can’t take this any more’. I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what to do. I run out of strength. My knees give way. I feel completely out of my depth, like I’m drowning and the waves are crashing over my head. Every time I have to answer a phone call from school or attend a social services meeting or deal with one of the many challenging behaviours, I feel like I’m walking into a fire that is threatening to consume me.

The only way I have survived to this point and am still finding the strength and hope and love to get through each day is because of God. I firmly believe that. It is God who is amazing. Not me.

I look around me and the people that I find truly inspirational are not the ones who rely on their own strength. Humans are not that amazing. Any human endeavour based on human ego soon turns to self-seeking and self-serving. The amazing people out there are the ones who know what it is to be an open channel for divine love or creativity or service or courage or wisdom or physical skill. The ones who know it is not about them. The ones who give the glory to their God.

Without God in my world, my hope would have run out long ago.

Without God in my world, I could not have found the strength to carry on.

Without God in my world, I could not have forgiven some of what has gone on in this house and some of the terrible things that have been done to and said about my kids.

Without God in my world, we would not be where we are today.

And so please don’t big me up. Please don’t put me on any kind of pedestal. I’m not great at finding the words for this, but I want more than anything for my life and actions to point to God. Don’t look up to me. Look up to God. Look to the one who sustains and protects and provides and strengthens.

Shadrach, Meschach and Abednego knew this. They knew they were nothing special. They pointed the king towards their God. The king thought the three men were pretty amazing and promoted them to positions of power and responsibility, yes, but he also recognised where their courage and strength had come from –

Praise be to the God of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, who has sent his angel and rescued his servants! They trusted in him and defied the king’s command and were willing to give up their lives rather than serve or worship any god except their own God.  Daniel 3:28

So don’t praise me, praise God. Praise the God of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego.

Praise the God who is the same yesterday, today and forever.