Elon and Twanna

ELON

And after Ibzan, there was Elon –

After him, Elon the Zebulunite led Israel ten years. Then Elon died and was buried in Aijalon in the land of Zebulun.  Judges 12:11-12

And that is all we know about Elon.

Which leaves me plenty of time to talk about my friend Twanna.

TWANNA

I can’t remember exactly how and when and why I started to get to know Twanna. But I can remember where. Well, not the name of the restaurant or the street, but I can picture the table and the interior vividly – a bustling Italian restaurant in the middle of Newcastle. As soon as we sat down and ordered our food, we just talked…..and talked…..and talked……and have never stopped since.

Twanna worked with Andy. She was unmarried, had no kids, was a workaholic (yes, you were – and always have been!) – and American.

I was a harassed mum of five young kids who didn’t get out much – and who harboured a deep distrust of Americans (which stemmed form my Dad’s experiences of working for an American company when I was an impressionable teenager…..).

Twanna and I are very very different – and yet somehow our souls connected. We can go for weeks without contact and then, like all good friends, can pick up where we left off. We jump in deep in what we talk about. We are honest. We display raw emotion. She cries a lot (well, compared to someone like me who never cries, it feels like a lot!). She has seen me angry and venting some really ugly thoughts.

I always get the feeling that Twanna really cares about my soul. She nurtures me and challenges me to take care of myself.

She’s always had an holistic approach to life – that our body really matters and what we put into it and do with it and how we care for it really matters. She’s taught me how to listen more to the needs of my body and learn to recognise them and meet them. When I felt bad, I used to always describe it as ‘depression’ – now I try harder to actually define exactly what it is – I am hungry, tired, drained, stressed, disappointed, hurt, hormonal……in need of rest, space, fresh air, exercise, water……she showed me it was OK to take time to ‘restore my soul’, more than OK, it was essential.

She’s taught me how to embrace periods and pain and limitations and weaknesses and to try to work with them and through them rather than deny them and carry on regardless.

She gave me confidence in my creativity by employing me to write catalogue copy for her and to have some creative input into choosing new ranges. We worked well together, I think – two very different approaches and perspectives…….I felt free to really express my opinion with total (brutal?) honesty and she learnt to deal with that!!!!!!!

We’ve taught each other a lot about life and friendship over the years. We haven’t always agreed but we have always connected. The honesty that we have is refreshing and rewarding – and always challenging!

Twanna and I worked together on several series of groups for women, exploring spirituality and what it is to be a woman in today’s world. Over ten women would meet together on a Tuesday evening and trust themselves into our hands to stare at candles, cut and glue and paint, eat, sit under a red tent, try out some yoga poses, do some deep breathing….and reflect, most of all reflect. Everyone loved the sound of Twanna’s voice – it was calming and immediately took us all to a more tranquil, focused place. A lot of good work was done in those sessions.

And so yes, over the years, Twanna has led me and challenged me and inspired me……she’s moved to London now and so was there to greet me for my 5oth birthday celebration in London in November. She read a poem there – all I can remember is a bit about looking in the mirror and acknowledging and accepting and learning to love everything that you see there…maybe that’s because she made me go in the bathroom in the hotel and stare at myself unflinchingly while she read it to me as a practice run!

I guess that’s it. She’s challenged me to look more closely and honestly at myself than anyone else has managed to do.

Thanks, T.