Fuelled by passion

Here’s a chunk straight from the Bible for a change. Context: “Each of you must put to death those of your people who have yoked themselves to the Baal of Peor.” (Numbers 25:6). That’s what God has just told the Israelites – the consequence of taking up with the Moabite women and bowing before their gods.

Then an Israelite man brought into the camp a Midianite woman right before the eyes of Moses and the whole assembly of Israel while they were weeping at the entrance to the tent of meeting (have they actually learnt nothing from the whole scene that has just taken place?). When Phinehas son of Eleazar, the son of Aaron, the priest, saw this, he left the assembly, took a spear in his hand and followed the Israelite into the tent. He drove the spear into both of them, right through the Israelite man and into the woman’s stomach (wow – extreme punishment from the hand of a priest of the LORD!). Then the plague against the Israelites was stopped; but those who died in the plague numbered 24,000 (not a real number but a Numbers number….).

The Lord said to Moses, “Phinehas son of Eleazar, the son of Aaron, the priest, has turned my anger away from the Israelites. Since he was as zealous for my honor among them as I am, I did not put an end to them in my zeal (zealous for my honour – key phrase. We’ll come back to that). Therefore tell him I am making my covenant of peace with him. He and his descendants will have a covenant of a lasting priesthood, because he was zealous for the honor of his God and made atonement for the Israelites.”

The name of the Israelite who was killed with the Midianite woman was Zimri son of Salu, the leader of a Simeonite family. And the name of the Midianite woman who was put to death was Kozbi daughter of Zur, a tribal chief of a Midianite family (specific details which prove this was a specific incident and not an everyday occurrence).

The Lord said to Moses, “Treat the Midianites as enemies and kill them. They treated you as enemies when they deceived you in the Peor incident involving their sister Kozbi, the daughter of a Midianite leader, the woman who was killed when the plague came as a result of that incident.” (uncomfortable words that I struggle to know what to do with).  Numbers 25: 6-18

Interesting passage, eh? Of course, there are questions raised….what if this was true love? can nationality stand in the way of true love? how did Phinehas get away with taking matters into his own hands when others had incurred God’s wrath for far less? does this condone violence? Imagine this scene from the point of view of Zimri, Kozbi or Phinehas himself – where would your sympathies lie?

The key phrase for me amongst all these unanswered questions is ‘zealous for my honour’. Today we struggle with the word ‘zeal’. It’s linked with fundamentalist acts of atrocity against women caught in sin. It fuels terrorism and justifies the beheading of British and American hostages. The word understandably scares us.

A dictionary definition for zeal is –

fervour for a person, cause, or object; eager desire or endeavor; enthusiastic diligence; ardour.

This wouldn’t sit well with my dad and his generation. It’s not very British, is it? We are encouraged to KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON (drink tea, eat cupcakes, go fishing….whatever). Calm is good. Fervour is a step too far. And ardour is completely beyond the pale. Eagerness should be avoided at all costs. It’s not good to look too keen, get too excited, be over-enthusiastic. You mustn’t care too much. You have to avoid extreme emotions at all costs. Don’t stick your head above the parapet. Don’t get involved in matters that do not concern you.

KEEP CALM. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN. AND CARRY ON AT ALL COSTS.

Which isn’t great for someone like me. I am very emotional. I react strongly to injustice. My immediate response is to wade in, speak out against inequality, take action. I once had a T shirt I loved with the slogan ‘Fuelled by Passion’. That’s who I am. I am a passionate person. I care passionately about people. I am zealous. I have a zeal for justice, for love, for equality, for the individual. I have a zeal for God. For God to be represented in a true and honest way by his followers, in a way that is packed with love and life and integrity and not judgment and legalism and doctrine.

Which has got me into all sorts of bother over the years. There have been consequences of my zeal. I have not remained calm at all times. I have not always been wise. I have sometimes been rash. I react – fast and furious. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I probably look a fool. I have raised my head above the parapet and been shot at.

But I cannot remain quiet when I see people being put down. I have to speak up when I witness prejudice and inequality. I believe passionately that people who hurt others by what they say and do, should be held accountable (especially in a church setting where it is supposed to be all about love and yet sadly, so rarely is).

I am the one who wants to shout out when a manager or leader is speaking and speak out for those who have no voice. I am the one who wants to walk when I hear elements in a speech or talk that I vehemently disagree with. I am the one who has to bite her tongue and grab onto her chair.

And is this wrong? Sometimes. Probably. I am my father’s daughter and yet I am not. I cannot play by those rules. Every time I talk to him – and every time I will talk to him in the future – he will tell me off for over-reacting (‘that’s a bit harsh, dear‘). He wants to protect me from getting hurt but trying to repress this passion as I was growing up was what really hurt me. He wants to stop me being considered foolish but what feels foolish to me is to say nothing and do nothing and look the other way. What is the point of living without engaging with real people and real issues?

Phinehas was fortunate in the passage. He acted violently and rashly on the spur of the moment and seemed to get away with it. God recognised his motives and was pleased with them.

Yes, I do get it wrong and will get it wrong (quite spectacularly sometimes) – please feel free to let me know when this is the case! But I passionately believe (here I go again!) that when I do get it wrong, I get it wrong for all the right reasons! If I have actually hurt anyone along the way, I am truly, truly sorry – that has never ever been my intention. I have wanted to stand with the hurting and confront (too strong a word – maybe challenge is a better one) those who have done the hurting with what they have done. This hasn’t always gone well. But I have stood in the right place. That is where I should be. That is where God is standing every time.

Take this blog for example – it’s possible that it really could be a colossal waste of time and an act of hubris, believing that I have anything useful to say on a daily basis. But I passionately believe in this project. I have a passion to communicate truths that I uncover in the Bible and in daily life. This passion is what drives me to get up at 6am in the dark and to sit typing in the cold until my hands go numb. I love it! Not the cold and dark obviously!

I hope and pray that God is looking kindly on my passion and endeavours. I trust that He will show mercy for my mistakes and be patient with me.

And I fervently hope that you will find and release your passion. Sod the whole ‘KEEP CALM’ thing. There is a lot of injustice and hatred and exploitation in the world that we should not be keeping calm about!

Unleash the zeal and show what you care about!