Loneliness – the same today as it was then

Loneliness.

Loneliness is eating every meal alone in front of the TV.

Loneliness is going to the shop for something you don’t need just to be make sure you talk to one person that day.

Loneliness is having no one to turn to. Literally no one.

Loneliness is knowing no one is really interested in your story.

Loneliness is not being able to remember the last time someone touched you.

Loneliness is longing for the phone to ring for the first time that week.

Loneliness is being alone.

Loneliness is feeling alone on a crowded train.

Loneliness is feeling alone when you’re having coffee with friends.

Loneliness is feeling alone when you’re out on a date.

Loneliness is feeling alone in a busy office.

Loneliness is feeling alone at a meal table surrounded by family.

Loneliness is feeling alone at a buzzing party.

Loneliness is feeling alone.

 

There’s two types of loneliness here.

Being alone and feeling alone.

Both are huge problems in our society today.

Both were huge problems in the society that the writer of Ecclesiastes was describing.

Again I saw something meaningless under the sun:

there was a man all alone;
he had neither son nor brother.
There was no end to his toil,
yet his eyes were not content with his wealth.
‘For whom am I toiling,’ he asked,
‘and why am I depriving myself of enjoyment?’
This too is meaningless –
a miserable business!  Ecclesiastes 4:7-8

This man is all alone. He’s working all the hours that God sends – but for what? For who?

It is better not to work alone. It is better not to be alone.

Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their labour:
if either of them falls down,
one can help the other up.

But pity anyone who falls
and has no one to help them up.
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

I know this is really trivial, but we discovered this yesterday when we tackled the housework together. And I’m talking the whole house. We moved from room to room together. It was much more effective. We kept each other going. It was much more enjoyable. We worked as a team.

We should never take those around us for granted, because we are fortunate if we have people in our lives. We are fortunate if we have people to love. Who love us.

Together we are stronger.

And then there’s feeling alone. That awful feeling of isolation and alienation. We feel there is no one who is interested. No one we really connect with.

Ambition can do this in a workplace. A sense of competition can do this in a gym. Rivalry can do this in a group of friends.

And I saw that all toil and all achievement spring from one person’s envy of another. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind. Ecclesiastes 4:4

If we treat other people as the competition, then we can never really draw close to them. If we constantly compare ourselves to others, then we are always going to feel superior or inferior to them, never equal. If we’re driven by the need to look good, then we are committed to making others look bad. We lose the ability to relate. We lose the ability to connect.

And the answer?

Better one handful with tranquillity
than two handfuls with toil
and chasing after the wind.  Ecclesiastes 4:6

Let go. Let go of more, more, more. Slow down. Stop striving for more all the time. Remember – quality not quantity. It’s not about how high you climb – it’s about enjoying the view on the way. Be content with enough.

Life is not about proving yourself. To yourself or to anyone else.

It is about connecting.

Advancement is meaningless
Better a poor but wise youth than an old but foolish king who no longer knows how to heed a warning. Ecclesiastes 4:12-13

People are in the end going to pay far more attention to wisdom than wealth.

Depth of friendship is far more important than quantity of friends.

Connection is what matters.

TO DO: I’m sure you can guess what’s come. Connect. That’s it. Connect. Make today’s interactions count. Listen. Really listen. Be listened to. Slow down. Stop rushing from one thing to the next. Make time to connect.