The story of my life

Nehemiah 9 is amazing! The whole story of God’s interaction with his people from the very beginning up to this point. The whole span of history in one chapter! It really is worth a read. Please do. It might explain a lot more clearly than you have ever had it explained to you. Here’s the link – Nehemiah 9 – if you don’t have a Bible to hand.

So here’s my version of this immense prayer of confession and praise……hoping this will inspire you today to think about what yours would read like – and to even write it down! And to even share it with someone!

OK. So here I am. Standing before you. Before the one and only God. How incredible is that?

You are beyond words. So awesome. So glorious. There is no blessing or praise I can give that begins to come close to who you really are.

You are the one and only. You made the world and everything in it. The whole universe. You created it all. Every living creature. Every human being. All created by you. You breathed life into every living thing and sustains every living thing. You give me breath every new day. In you, I live and breathe and have my being.

Right from the very start of human history, you’ve looked for ways to connect with your people. All through the course of history, individuals have discovered what it is to wake up to your presence all around them and have learned to trust you and obey you and walk in your way.

And you have proved to be the definition of faithful. You’ve always kept your word. You’ve responded when your people have cried out to you. You’ve acted in supernatural ways to save your people. Everyone that saw was completely amazed. You’ve always been right there among your people – guiding them, instructing them in the best way to live. Providing everything they need. But because they were human, and this is what humans do, time and time again, they decided that they knew best. They wanted to do it their own way.

But you never gave up on them. You didn’t abandon them. You’ve been so incredibly patient. Overflowing with love. You continued to inspire them by your Spirit to live wisely. You gave them so many good things. So many opportunities to turn back to you. Time and time again, you helped them out of the mess they’d created for themselves.

You are not to blame
for all that has come down on us;
You did everything right,
we did everything wrong.

We’re in deep trouble.  

How I can relate to this! How this has been the story of my life, basically!

Fifty years of trying to work out my relationship with God. Trying to do it His way and then slipping back into doing it my way. So often valuing the wrong things and chasing after the wrong things. So often not seeing what’s really important and who’s really important. Thinking I know best. And getting it spectacularly wrong. Wasting so much time trying to solve things my way. 

Fifty years of trying to work out how to get God to come down and intervene, when God has actually been there working and loving the whole time. He wasn’t waiting for me to invite Him in to a situation. He was waiting for me to roll up my sleeves and join in.

Fifty years of valuing the wrong people, being impressed by the wrong things, caring about the wrong things. Of seeking approval and affirmation from the wrong places. Of not understanding that God’s way is the the best way to live, because He made us and therefore is the only one ever to understand what living life to the full for a human being really looks like.

And yet God has stood by me. He has never left me to sort out my mess on my own. He’s always been there. He has always been big on kindness and compassion. A love that has never let me go. Will never give up on me. 

God’s done nothing wrong. He never has. He did everything right; I did everything wrong.

Thank God for His amazing love and compassion. Where would I be without it? Where would any of us be without it?

He’s the only one who can turn things around. Who can bring restoration and hope to the most desperate of situations.

Have mercy, God. Forgive me again. I don’t deserve it, I know that, but for some reason, you’ve promised to never give up on me. You define grace. 

Thank you. Thank you so much.