When walking away is the right response….

When faced with a threat, instinct kicks in with one of two responses: fight or flight. Take a look at the animal world if you need some examples. It’s a survival thing: all living beings either attack or withdraw. It really is as simple as that. Of course, human beings like to think of themselves as more complex beings, so their responses seem more complex and yet actually, if you strip them back to the underlying motivation, each response is in essence that fight or flight response.

Take the final part of the Christmas story for example. The Magi have inadvertently made King Herod aware of a threat to his rule – that there is another Jewish king on the scene, a baby who is the Messiah. Herod asks these men to return to him after they have visited the baby, so that he too can go and worship this new king (as if).

And having been warned in a dream not to go back to Herod, they returned to their country by another route.

When they had gone, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream. ‘Get up,’ he said, ‘take the child and his mother and escape to Egypt. Stay there until I tell you, for Herod is going to search for the child to kill him.’

So he got up, took the child and his mother during the night and left for Egypt, where he stayed until the death of Herod. And so was fulfilled what the Lord had said through the prophet: ‘Out of Egypt I called my son.’

When Herod realised that he had been outwitted by the Magi, he was furious, and he gave orders to kill all the boys in Bethlehem and its vicinity who were two years old and under, in accordance with the time he had learned from the Magi. Then what was said through the prophet Jeremiah was fulfilled:

‘A voice is heard in Ramah,
weeping and great mourning,
Rachel weeping for her children
and refusing to be comforted,
because they are no more.’

After Herod died, an angel of the Lord appeared in a dream to Joseph in Egypt and said, ‘Get up, take the child and his mother and go to the land of Israel, for those who were trying to take the child’s life are dead.’

So he got up, took the child and his mother and went to the land of Israel. But when he heard that Archelaus was reigning in Judea in place of his father Herod, he was afraid to go there. Having been warned in a dream, he withdrew to the district of Galilee, and he went and lived in a town called Nazareth. So was fulfilled what was said through the prophets, that he would be called a Nazarene.  Matthew 2:12-23

Examples of flight:

• the Magi avoid having to see King Herod again and go home a different way
• Joseph takes his young family to Egypt to avoid the wrath of King Herod
• Joseph returns to Israel after the death of King Herod but withdraws to the safety of Nazareth

Example of fight:

• Herod annihilates the perceived threat by killing all baby boys under the age of 2.

What Herod does is horrific, but on a certain level, I get it. It’s what any world leader would do. Securing his position by getting rid of the opposition. He displays his strength and might and power. He is the strongest. It’s the survival of the fittest.

It’s the withdrawing that is harder to understand for me. I’m all for speaking up, standing firm, fighting injustice. Not withdrawing. Not conceding. Not running away. Doesn’t that seem weak to you? If God is on the side of Mary and Joseph and their new baby, then what do they have to fear? If God is for them, then why run away?

And it’s the angel that prompts Joseph in a dream to escape to Egypt (the exact place that God rescued His people from all those generations before in the Exodus). God had planned it this way. This escape had been prophesied about long before it actually happened. And then there’s the dreams and angels telling Joseph it’s safe to return to Nazareth, again fulfilling the prophecies of long ago.

Withdrawing is not seen as weakness. It’s a key part of God’s protection for this family. This isn’t a case of admitting defeat, but more of waiting for the right time to stand up against the rulers of the age (and then not in the way that is expected). It’s not conceding or surrendering.

Sometimes the wise thing is to walk away from an argument. Even when our natural instinct is to fight and to win the battle. Withdrawing is not always motivated by cowardice, but sometimes by maturity. When the adrenaline is coursing through our veins, it’s hard to take a step back and breathe and check that our fight response is the appropriate response. It’s so easy to get drawn in, to not back down until we’ve proved our point. The situation soon escalates and things are said and done that can never be unsaid or undone.

Fight and flight are both natural responses. And different situations call for different responses. I guess what I’ve learnt from this passage is that sometimes flight is an acceptable response. It’s not my job to fight every battle. What I need (what we all need) is the discernment to know the right response for the situation – to have the courage to stand up and fight, but also the wisdom and maturity to walk away when required.

Just look at the life of Jesus. There were times when he was not afraid to criticise the religious leaders and undermine the political leaders of the day. But at other times, he withdrew. He walked away from confrontation. Until the time was right. That’s the key. Knowing the right time.

May we have the courage and the discernment to respond appropriately to whatever we may face today.