When your critics shout loud……….

I’m an ideas person. I can’t help it. It’s how I’m made. I have a million and one ideas flowing through me all at the same time. Projects and parties and challenges and improvements and groups and workshops and creative endeavours…… Some happen. Some do not. Some work. Some do not. I’ve learnt to hold loosely to these ideas and know that I do not have the time and energy and resources to do all of them. I’ve come to trust that the good ones will float to the top and stick (that’s the closest I come to the whole ‘good idea/God idea’ mentality btw!). I try to learn from the ones that go wrong. All with a little raging and sulking and frustration along the way – hey, I’m not perfect!

I’ve never undertaken a project as huge as rebuilding the temple in Jerusalem. My biggies?……well, I have adopted three children; I wrote and was the driving force behind our church Sunday School programme for five years; having never run before, I trained for the Great North Run for nine months and ran it without stopping; I’ve written two novels; I’m reading and writing about the whole Bible in five and a half years…..that kind of thing.

And I have faced opposition. Of course I have. Any project or idea meets with some form of opposition at some point. Just like the people in Jerusalem in Ezra 4. Their opposition comes in various forms. As does ours.

Opposition Part 1: 

When the enemies of Judah and Benjamin heard that the exiles were building a temple for the Lord, the God of Israel, they came to Zerubbabel and to the heads of the families and said, “Let us help you build because, like you, we seek your God and have been sacrificing to him since the time of Esarhaddon king of Assyria, who brought us here.”

But Zerubbabel, Joshua and the rest of the heads of the families of Israel answered, “You have no part with us in building a temple to our God. We alone will build it for the Lord, the God of Israel, as King Cyrus, the king of Persia, commanded us.”  Ezra 4:1-3

That seems odd, doesn’t it? Why would their enemies offer to help? If they are their enemies, why have they been worshipping their God? Is it a ruse to derail and distract? Zerubbabel is clear here – you have no part in this. This is not your project. It’s ours. It must have been hard to refuse help. They needed all the help they could get. And they knew how important it was not to offend those around them as well. But help has to come from the right sources.

Opposition Part 2: 

Then the peoples around them set out to discourage the people of Judah and make them afraid to go on building.  Ezra 3:4

Opposition Part 3:

At the beginning of the reign of Xerxes, they lodged an accusation against the people of Judah and Jerusalem.  Ezra 3:5

Opposition Part 4:

Then what? They wrote a letter. Who did it? These people who had been sent to live and settle in Jerusalem and Judah when the people of God were taken into exile. They have a lot to lose here. Here’s the letter –

The king should know that the people who came up to us from you have gone to Jerusalem and are rebuilding that rebellious and wicked city. They are restoring the walls and repairing the foundations.

Furthermore, the king should know that if this city is built and its walls are restored, no more taxes, tribute or duty will be paid, and eventually the royal revenues will suffer. Now since we are under obligation to the palace and it is not proper for us to see the king dishonored, we are sending this message to inform the king, so that a search may be made in the archives of your predecessors. In these records you will find that this city is a rebellious city, troublesome to kings and provinces, a place with a long history of sedition. That is why this city was destroyed. We inform the king that if this city is built and its walls are restored, you will be left with nothing in Trans-Euphrates.  Ezra 4:12-16

Opposition Part 5:

The king listens. The king responds.

Greetings.

The letter you sent us has been read and translated in my presence. I issued an order and a search was made, and it was found that this city has a long history of revolt against kings and has been a place of rebellion and sedition. Jerusalem has had powerful kings ruling over the whole of Trans-Euphrates, and taxes, tribute and duty were paid to them. Now issue an order to these men to stop work, so that this city will not be rebuilt until I so order. Be careful not to neglect this matter. Why let this threat grow, to the detriment of the royal interests?

Five types of opposition. Building opposition. Until the work is stopped. The Jews in Jerusalem are ‘compelled by force’ to stop. The opposition has succeeded.

Thus the work on the house of God in Jerusalem came to a standstill until the second year of the reign of Darius king of Persia. Ezra 4:24

It’s so sad. Tragic when opposition to a good work wins.

As you read through all of this, I’m sure you could think of examples in your own life, where you have faced similar opposition….in your workplace, your family, amongst your friends, in your church….

Or is it just me? I have so many examples of opposition to things that I have done or tried to do that came to mind as I worked through this passage. I would love to share them all with you, but here is not the place. Not in detail anyway. So here are a few thoughts that are hopefully general enough but useful nevertheless.

Opposition Part 1:

Controlling who helps you. That’s a difficult one. You can’t control who offers to help, only who you actually invite on board. Anyone who knows me knows I’m not great at accepting help – well, only on my terms. I’d rather do it myself. Even when it comes to cooking tea – the other day, I told Andy off for not helping and then told him off for over seasoning the food and then sulked when he didn’t like it! I have such a clear idea of what I want to achieve that I’m afraid to let anyone do anything their way (but that doesn’t make me a control freak, OK?).

But I do have to let people help. And have had experience of people then derailing the whole thing or trying to take it off in a different direction. In a previous church a good while ago, Andy and I used to lead services…the organist always seemed up for anything – until it came to the service itself! Then he would add an extra beat to the music here or there or end unexpectedly or disappear off into an instrumental….so these ‘new songs’ would never seem quite right and no one got to know them of like them or accept them.

I have no answers.

Opposition Part 2:

Discouragement and fear.

Oh yes.

From the voices inside your head or outside your head.

The voices that tell you you aren’t good enough. You’re going to fail. Everyone is going to laugh at you. Everyone thinks you’re crazy (I get that one a lot!). You’re taking on too much. You need to take care of yourself and do less. You’re going to make yourself ill (more mentally than physically in my case).

Most of us never attempt anything near what we are capable of because of disappointment and fear. That’s why I love that whole ‘This Girl Can’ campaign. I’ve seen women grow massively in confidence as they have tried to run and have found they can. My confidence in them has led to a confidence in themselves. And now they are flying – have overtaken me and run faster and train more and put me to shame (why do I even feel the need to use a phrase like that?).

Opposition Part 3:

Lodging an accusation. Going to someone else (a superior) and telling them what they think you’re doing wrong. This is often insidious and I don’t like it. It’s cowardly. People are not prepared to come to you directly and tell you that they have a problem with you. I have this a lot. I hate it. I’ve had ‘anonymous’ complaints brought to me which is really awful. You never get to know who thinks that way about you. You never get to talk through your reasons and motivations. You never get a chance to resolve anything or find reconciliation. There have been two situations like this recently – one regarding my parenting and the other regarding my writing. Both pretty personal. Both extremely hurtful and undermining.

I stopped writing for quite a while because of it. Obviously I couldn’t stop parenting. But I lost confidence in both. These experiences have changed me. Made me stronger in the end. If I’m going to face opposition, I have to be really sure I believe what I am doing and writing and saying is the right thing. But it’s made me less trusting too. More guarded. And some would say that’s a good thing, but I like being trusting. I see the best in everyone and can’t imagine why anyone else would not be wanting to see the best in me.

Opposition Part 4:

This is a step on from the previous point. Writing a letter today extends to sending a text or an email. Putting doubt in a leader’s or manager’s mind that someone is doing a good thing. Getting a leader to question motives, to think back to when things have gone wrong in the past, to doubt the trust they have in an individual.

What has happened in the past inevitably affects the present. We left our church for a period. We hurt people. People hurt us. And then we went back. With no agenda to continue the hurt and distrust. Quite the opposite. We went back because that church is our home. We love the place. We love the people. We want to support the work of God in our community. But obviously some people – the people we hurt the most, I guess – found our return really hard. Seven years on and we are still not trusted by some. I can understand that. We all have to live with that and face it and find a way through it that is honouring to God. I still believe in reconciliation and restoration. I’m holding out for that.

Opposition Part 5:

The leader listens to the objectors. The manager takes on the criticisms. The boss loses faith in the project. In not wanting to upset the people with the loudest voices, a fantastic work is stopped. What can I say? It happens. All too often.

I haven’t told you any ways to deal with opposition really. That’s for you to work out for yourself I believe. This is just saying that opposition happened then and opposition happens now. Here are some things I am learning along the way.

• I have to choose wisely who I listen to
• Sometimes some of what the opposers say is right
• ‘Let it go’. Sometimes that’s all I can do.
• I don’t have to help or please everyone – just put my energies into the people who want to engage
• Everything is for a season – this ‘stopping of a good thing’ may not be for ever.
• Every opposition is an opportunity to show grace and love
• Ditch the fear
• If constraints are put on what I do, then be creative and find a way to work within them
• Don’t take it personally – it isn’t always
• Don’t go on the defensive and escalate the negative emotion
• Accept what the leader/manager says (but I may never agree)
• Accept that there are some people I will never see eye to eye with

I could go on and on and on and on…….but that’s probably enough.

The most important thing?

Do not be discouraged. Go for it! Perfect love drives out fear. And love is key when dealing with opposition.