1 Peter: living in right relationship with others

Dear friends, I urge you, as foreigners and exiles, to abstain from sinful desires, which wage war against your soul. Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us.

Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every human authority: whether to the emperor, as the supreme authority, or to governors, who are sent by him to punish those who do wrong and to commend those who do right. For it is God’s will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish people. Live as free people, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as God’s slaves. Show proper respect to everyone, love the family of believers, fear God, honour the emperor.

Slaves, in reverent fear of God submit yourselves to your masters, not only to those who are good and considerate, but also to those who are harsh. For it is commendable if someone bears up under the pain of unjust suffering because they are conscious of God. But how is it to your credit if you receive a beating for doing wrong and endure it? But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God. To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps.

“He committed no sin,
and no deceit was found in his mouth.”

When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. “He himself bore our sins” in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; “by his wounds you have been healed.” For “you were like sheep going astray,” but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.

Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behaviour of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewellery or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.

Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.  1 Peter 2:11 – 3:7

OK, so let me start by saying that Peter is writing this in a context very different to our own. There’s plenty in here I disagree with as a woman in this modern age. But this letter was written nearly 2000 years ago and society was very different in those days. If we could have an insight into the context in which Peter was writing, I believe we would be able to appreciate how forward-thinking and radical his teaching was. Put simply, this is a practical manifesto of how to live in right relationship with others and we can learn from the spirit of what Peter is writing rather than the specifics.

That’s where I’m focusing, anyhow!

Live good lives

It’s not easy to live a good life following God’s way when everyone around you is living by a completely different set of rules. People around us are encouraged to put themselves first, to do what works for them with little consideration of others. We are called to take our place as part of a counter culture, a people swimming against a tide of materialism and self-centredness. And so as we try to live out God’s values, we will feel like foreigners and exiles and even aliens!

Live good lives

It’s hard to live a good life when there’s a part of you that wants to follow a different path. We all have desires and temptations that threaten to knock us off course. We’re all only human after all! There’s a battle going on inside each one of us and some days, that’s going to feel harder than others.

Live good lives

Imagine living such a good life that even those who have it in for you admire what they see! Imagine living a life that is beyond reproach. I want to live a life that points to God, that gives the glory back to Him.

Live good lives

Living a good life means living in right relationship with others. That’s super hard when those with authority over us are not people we find it easy to respect or obey. We have to find a way to show respect – not that we will always agree, but it’s a case of humbly accepting our role and position. I know how uncomfortable I’ve found it when one spiritual leader is denigrating another because of a difference in theology. They should be above name-calling and sniping in my opinion. And actually, so should each one of us!

There’s a huge conversation here – about how to protest peaceably, how to stand up for what is right, how to call out wrongdoing, how to vote and have a voice…Respect is the key word in all of this.

Live good lives

Jesus is always the role model. Just look at how he was mistreated and suffered – and yet he committed to doing the right thing, not defending himself, not retaliating, simply remaining silent. It’s a huge challenge. Sometimes we’re so quick to take offence at the smallest thing and then flounce off or demand an apology. What would Jesus do?

Jesus trusted God to deal with those who had mistreated him, to hold them accountable for what they had done.

Live good lives

Submission to a husband feels like an uncomfortable command to me, but I do see that the behaviour of a wife can influence a husband far more than any words. And whilst I love clothes and jewellery and handbags and see them as a creative expression of my personality, I do also believe that real beauty is found within. As women, we do not need to act out of fear of men, but from a desire to live in right relationship.

Live good lives

And that counts for the men too.

In Peter’s context, wives were often treated as possessions and objects (not so very different these days sometimes!) and so to suggest that a wife should be treated with consideration and respect and as an equal was radical teaching.

Right relationships are hard. They need attention. It’s easy to slip into ways that undermine the other. We can take our partner for granted, misuse their love, make them feel inferior in some way. When we work at living good lives, that means working at living in right relationship.

Live good lives

In Jesus, we are all heirs of the gracious gift of life. We all have the potential to live life to the full. Living a good life is not denying us satisfaction and happiness. Quite the opposite. Living as God intended is the best way to live and leads to more joy, peace and love than we can ever begin to imagine!

Yes, it takes effort, but anything worth having takes effort.

Let’s get going!