What have I done to deserve this?
Yesterday we witnessed Job in a very dark place. Devoid of hope. Overflowing with questions.
What I have done to deserve this? Why are you laying all this at my door? Are you doing this on purpose? Are you allowing all this for a reason?
The verse actually reads like this –
If I have sinned, what have I done to you,
you who see everything we do?
Why have you made me your target?
Have I become a burden to you?
Why do you not pardon my offences
and forgive my sins? Job 7:20-21
And in the Message version – which I don’t particularly like but maybe you will –
Even suppose I’d sinned—how would that hurt you?
You’re responsible for every human being.
Don’t you have better things to do than pick on me?
Why make a federal case out of me?
Why don’t you just forgive my sins
and start me off with a clean slate? Job 7:20-21
Anyway, it all basically boils down to this one question –
What have I done to deserve this?
What have I done to deserve this?
Which is not a helpful question, in my humble opinion. But an entirely natural one, of course. And that is probably not a helpful or adequate answer, I know that.
So let’s carry on.
So. Here goes.
Why do Christians suffer? Because everyone suffers.
Why does everyone suffer? Because we are all human. Suffering is normal. Suffering is a part of what makes us human. It is a part of all life. Suffering has existed as long as human beings have. Suffering links us to everyone who has gone before us and everyone who will come after us.
Why does everyone suffer? Because we all live in the world. The real world. A world where people are free to make their own choices – the right choices and the wrong choices that affect not only them, but people around them too.
Perhaps it is as simple as that. As random as that. Maybe it’s nothing at all to do with what we deserve or don’t deserve.
Except sometimes it is. Sometimes, on one level, we do deserve it. We have done something to bring suffering on ourselves. We make poor choices. We adopt an unhealthy lifestyle. We over-indulge. We become addicted to the wrong things. We enter into unhealthy relationships. We deliberately do what we know to be the wrong thing. We ignore the stress or anxiety or low self-worth or other issues that affect our well-being until it is too late.
And there are often consequences. Not always – therein lies the randomness. Some people get away with all of the above. They smoke and do not get lung cancer. They are obese and do not get diabetes. They steal from their place of work and get away with it. They have an affair and never get found out. Etc etc etc.
But there often are consequences of the choices we make in life and asking God to protect us from suffering in those situations would be to rob us of our free will and the natural outworkings of what we have chosen.
So sometimes when you ask the question ‘What have I done to deserve this?’, the answer will be ‘Nothing. Absolutely nothing.’
Other times when you ask the question ‘What have I done to deserve this?’, that will not be the answer. And are you sure you really want to hear what the answer is?
But how does that help? Knowing the answer to that question. Judging yourself. Blaming yourself. Linking your suffering to your self-worth. Surely then our legitimate actual suffering is compounded by needless suffering. We all knows how it happens. Lovely decent people suffer while those who we think deserve to do not. Most suffering does not reflect on us as people. Most suffering is random.
So what does help then? What helps us get through? For me, it’s trying to see the opportunity for learning that can come through suffering. Yes, that’s easier said than done. As I said in ‘Learning from the best‘, discipline and correction moves us on in our journey. In our brokenness, we find God. We rely on Him when we are helpless. By the grace of God, we find a way to carry on. Through our own experiences, we build compassion and encourage others.
Sounds great, doesn’t it? In theory.
Now to work it out in practice…
