Do you have it in you to forgive?

The story we’re looking at today is about an unmerciful servant. Neither word is one we use very often in our culture. So let’s start there.

A servant in Jesus’ time was sometimes a slave, sometimes not. Sometimes owned by the master and sometimes free. The same word is used for both. Many households had servants who fulfilled various duties around the home as cooks, maids, groundskeepers, tutors, or in helping to care for children. The majority had no financial independence and relied on this work to provide for their families. They were at the mercy of the head of the house.

I guess today’s equivalent is domestic staff – cleaners, housekeepers, nannies, au pairs, gardeners, pool cleaners, people who wash and iron clothes, toilet attendants, caretakers, concierges, carers…There’s a huge spectrum of how these people are respected and treated, of course. Some work for the rich and the famous; others are badly paid and poorly treated. Many are invisible in society, getting paid for the jobs that no one else is prepared to do. They depend on this money for their livelihood. No one would do this job if they had a choice…

And here are some synonyms for ‘unmerciful’: ruthless · cruel · harsh · pitiless ·  · hard-hearted · hard · callous · unforgiving · heartless · intolerant

Get the picture?

And remember ‘unmerciful’ is not referring to the master here, but to the servant. Everyone was used to unmerciful masters. There was nothing new in that. But an unmerciful servant – what was Jesus talking about? That would have grabbed everyone’s attention, that’s for sure.

Prepare for some serious challenges…

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”

Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.

At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ The servant’s master took pity on him, cancelled the debt and let him go.

But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.

His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’

But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.

Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I cancelled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.

This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.  Matthew 18:21-25

The challenges as I see them –

• So surely there’s an upper limit as to how many time you have to forgive the same person? Surely there are only so many times a person can say sorry and expect forgiveness? Nope. It seems not. Jesus says no, just keep forgiving over and over again (this isn’t the same as allowing someone to hurt you or abuse you or mistreat you over and over again – boundaries need to be put in place). So it’s not just about giving someone a second chance, but about giving them a seventy seventh chance!
• the king/master had allowed the servant to rack up a stupid amount of debt – ten thousand bags of gold worth of debt – how had either the master or the servant thought this was a good idea? Debt is so seductive though, isn’t it? It’s so easy to be sucked into that whole ‘buy now, pay later thing’. Soon you’re trapped and there’s no way out but to keep borrowing. The master obviously trusted the servant, but to lend so much to someone who clearly would never be able to pay it back was surely foolish in itself.
• the kingdom of heaven is like this king: that’s the analogy here. All the good gifts and provision that God lavishes on us is far beyond what we could ever repay. We are in debt to the God of heaven.
• the stakes were high. For the debt to be repaid, the servant’s family would have to be sold into slavery. He’d lose his family and all his possessions. Debt soon gets out of control and affects the whole family. Bankruptcy destroys lives and loan sharks show no mercy.
• the only option the servant has is to beg for mercy. The debt he owes is too great. His master takes pity on him, cancels the debt and lets him go. This is a merciful master. There’s no sense of making an example of him so that he won’t be taken for a ride by one of his servants again. It’s not about showing him who’s boss. And this is what the kingdom of heaven is like, remember. This is what God is like. That’s why Jesus is telling the story – to remind those listening that this is how God treats each one of us. Which is actually pretty incredible in itself and worth being reminding of. We have nothing to prove. We have no debt to pay. We don’t have to make it up to God. Just tale a moment to sit with that amazing mercy that God has shown to each one of us.
• a hundred silver coins is a pittance compared to the ten thousand bags of gold. That’s the point Jesus is making here. The servant has been let off so much and yet is unwilling to show mercy and let off the one who owes him a miniscule amount in comparison. It all comes down to treating others as you would like to be treated. Showing others the same mercy that you have been shown. Finding it in your heart to forgive others as you have been forgiven. It’s not complicated. it’s not rocket science. Yes, it’s the hardest thing to do and feels so counter-intuitive, so opposite to the way everyone around us is doing things…and yet it is God’s way. This is what it takes to live as part of the kingdom of God. Do you have what it takes?
• the other servants have a role to play here. They see the injustice that is being played out before their eyes and they cannot keep quiet. They don’t stay silent and look the other way. They speak up for what is right. That’s a huge challenge too, isn’t it? When was the last time you challenged a friend or a colleague about how they were treating or talking about another friend or colleague? When was the last time you spoke out against double standards? When was the last time you took a good, hard look at the way you’re treating those around you?
• there’s an accountability, you see. We will have to account for the way we have treated other people. There’s no getting away from that.
• and finally, forgiveness has to come from the heart. We have to really mean it. Oh my word, that’s the greatest challenge of all, isn’t it? That takes some work, a lot of soul searching, plenty of struggling…I remember how this incredible struggle to forgive is played out so vividly in ‘The Shack’. It really challenged me to really forgive. Read the book or watch the film if you want to be reminded of what it is to forgive the seemingly unforgivable.

Do you have it in you to forgive?