If I were Timothy #5: so what do we do with the women?

Who Was Timothy?

Timothy is a Greek name which means ‘honouring God’ or ‘honoured by God’.

Paul came to Derbe and then to Lystra, where a disciple named Timothy lived, whose mother was Jewish and a believer but whose father was a Greek.  Acts 16:1

After Paul had visited Lystra, Timothy became his companion and co-worker along with Silas. Timothy then travelled around with Paul, who became his mentor. Paul trusted him to carry out important work.

But you know that Timothy has proved himself, because as a son with his father he has served with me in the work of the gospel. Philippians 2:22

If I were Timothy, I would be blown away to receive this letter from Paul. After all, I’d been at his side as he’d written the letters to Corinthians, Philippians, Colossians and Thessalonians. But these letters were addressed to groups of believers and not an individual like myself. I’d be even more amazed to discover that two letters addressed to me would end up in this collection of books people would come to know as the Bible!

Yes, Paul and I were close. He was like a father to me. But I didn’t do anything anyone else wouldn’t do. I served God in the best way I could. That’s it. It wasn’t easy at times, but I looked to Paul for guidance and support – and what a man Paul is!

Passage From The Letter

I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people— for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. This is good, and pleases God our Savior, who wants all people to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth. For there is one God and one mediator between God and mankind, the man Christ Jesus, who gave himself as a ransom for all people. This has now been witnessed to at the proper time. And for this purpose I was appointed a herald and an apostle—I am telling the truth, I am not lying—and a true and faithful teacher of the Gentiles.

Therefore I want the men everywhere to pray, lifting up holy hands without anger or disputing. I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.

A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet. For Adam was formed first, then Eve. And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner. But women will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety. 1 Timothy 2

If I were Timothy, this is how I would reply to this section of the the letter…

Oh my word, Paul, this is pretty strong teaching! I can already imagine the response of some of the believers to these words, particularly some of the women! to be honest, I struggle quite a bit with what you are saying here too.

I get it. I get that something has got to be done. When we meet together as a big group for prayer and teaching, it’s a shambles: people muttering, chattering, even shouting out across the whole room. The prayers can be rambling and a way to air grievances even. There is no order and not a great deal of respect and it’s hard for the teacher to make themselves heard and to get the message across.  We’re finding our way as a community of believers, I admit that. All this is still so new. The Jewish believers are used to doing things a certain way, the Gentiles another; the women are not used to be allowed into the worship setting at all! Our vision is to move on from the rules that shackled us and held us back in worship, but this freedom has gone to their heads and now it’s a mess.

OK, so let’s have a look. Prayer. This comes down to balance, doesn’t it. Making sure that we pray all kinds of different prayers and not get caught up in one type of prayer and ignore all the rest. And we have to have a wider view of who to pray for too: not just ourselves and the people we care about but all people everywhere, even those we don’t like or who are exerting authority over us. Who out there doesn’t need prayer? Everyone does! God wants all of us to be saved and we are all equal before God, regardless of our status here on earth. We need to find a way to let every voice be raised in prayer, but in a way that is respectful to each other so that each prayer can be heard. For what is the point in praying if the men are fighting and disagreeing over who prays next?

As for the women, I’m not about to dictate to them how they should dress for worship. I guess I need to get across the message that this is not a party or social gathering : it’s not about dressing to impress. Again, it’s about finding the right balance. No one, including the men, should be dressing to draw attention to themselves, to show off. We gather to worship God, not each other. Neither should we draw attention to ourselves by being scruffy, like we’ve made no effort to prepare ourselves for worship at all!

We’ve come along way in how we view and treat the women among us, but we still have a long way to go. Women are no longer treated as possessions or objects in our company of believers, but we’re having to take baby steps towards allowing women to take part in our formal gatherings. Can you imagine the riot if a woman stood up to teach? There’d be compete chaos! Some of these men are not ready for that yet? I know this is something you have a real issue with too, Paul. God created men and women in a certain order with certain roles for a reason. I get that. But you should meet and chat with some of the women here, Paul – their wisdom blows me away. Their faith and love and hope are a shining example to all of us. We have to find a way to allow them to express their opinions and questions and perspective – but you’re right, the main meetings are not a place for that right now.

Carrying a child is a wonderful gift that women have, something that men can never understand fully or share in. Becoming a mother is a beautiful thing. And I can see how this experience can bring a woman closer to God. But this can’t be the only way for a woman to be saved. That isn’t what you’re saying here, is it? What about those women who cannot have children? Is God really going to exclude them from His kingdom? I think not!

What I draw from what you’re saying is that we all need to act with respect for others – men and women alike. We should be careful not to challenge or undermine authority, but should show respect. We should allow others to speak without interruption. We should all work for peace and not stir up arguments. We should all make love, faith and holiness a priority in our lives. And we should always remember that we gather to worship God, not each other.

What do you think of what I’ve said? I’d be interested to hear your opinion!