That final week: DENIED
“Truly I tell you,” Jesus answered, “this very night, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times.”
But Peter declared, “Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you.” And all the other disciples said the same. Matthew 26:34-35
It’s amazing how quickly can change, isn’t it? Peter couldn’t ever imagine disowning Jesus. No way. Not after all he had seen and heard. He’d rather die.
And yet only a few hours later, everything has changed. Jesus is arrested. For Peter and the other followers of Jesus, fear kicks in. They don’t know what to say or do, where to go. In the panic and chaos, instinct takes over and they run. They abandon Jesus.
It’s not that easy to walk away though. This is the most remarkable man Peter has ever met. He can’t let go. He follows at a distance.
While Peter was below in the courtyard, one of the servant girls of the high priest came by. When she saw Peter warming himself, she looked closely at him.
“You also were with that Nazarene, Jesus,” she said.
But he denied it. “I don’t know or understand what you’re talking about,” he said, and went out into the entryway.
When the servant girl saw him there, she said again to those standing around, “This fellow is one of them.” Again he denied it.
After a little while, those standing near said to Peter, “Surely you are one of them, for you are a Galilean.”
He began to call down curses, and he swore to them, “I don’t know this man you’re talking about.”
Immediately the rooster crowed the second time. Then Peter remembered the word Jesus had spoken to him: “Before the rooster crows twice you will disown me three times.” And he broke down and wept. Mark 14:66-72
Each of the four gospel accounts of Peter’s denial in Matthew 26, Mark 14, Luke 22 and John 18, the exact details differ, but one thing is totally clear: Peter disowns Jesus not once, not twice, but three times. Just as Jesus predicted he would.
He denies ever being with Jesus.
He denies being one of Jesus’ followers.
He denies being with Jesus in the garden at the time of his arrest.
He denies knowing Jesus.
He’s adamant. He ‘swears down’, as my daughter would say. He denies it all with an oath.
Then he began to call down curses, and he swore to them, “I don’t know the man!” Matthew 26:74
The big question is why and the obvious answer is fear.
Peter is scared of being arrested alongside Jesus. I’m guessing there’s a huge amount of confusion and anxiety and uncertainty and maybe shame and embarrassment there in the mix too. He’s not ready to be in the spotlight. His whole world has been rocked. All that he has been building his life upon for the past three years is under threat. The ground is shifting beneath his feet.
In John’s account, Peter’s recognised by ‘one of the high priest’s servants, a relative of the man whose ear Peter had cut off’. You can see how his natural reaction would be to say ‘I wasn’t there! I don’t know what you’re talking about!’
And then the rooster crows. It’s a defining moment. It takes Peter right back to that conversation with Jesus a few hours before everything changed forever. In Luke’s account, Peter has a sense of Jesus turning and looking directly at him.
Just as he was speaking, the rooster crowed. The Lord turned and looked straight at Peter. Luke 22:60-61
And in that moment, he knows that Jesus knows. He knows that Jesus knew all along. He’s let Jesus down. He’s let himself down.
He breaks down and cries. He’s ruined everything.
I wonder if any of you are reading this, thinking like Peter, ‘I would never disown Jesus like that’. We’d all like to think that would be the case, of course we would. But in reality, we can’t accurately predict how we would react in the same situation. If any of you have watched the film ‘Silence’, you’ll remember how certain the two young Jesuit priests are, travelling off to Japan in search of those who have gone before them. They can’t imagine any Jesuit denouncing his faith. And yet the torture they endure is beyond their imagination…
Most of us will not be called on to publicly denounce our faith. We will not be persecuted until we say what they want to hear. But there are a thousand more subtle, gentle ways in which our faith in Jesus can be challenged every single day. And there are those times when we do not speak up, when we do not act, when we walk away from the conversation. We know exactly what those times look like, because we know how we feel afterwards. We feel Jesus looking us in the eye, asking ‘Where were you? Why didn’t you step up and speak out?’ We have our excuses ready, of course. ‘I don’t want to rock the boat, get into trouble, lose friends, make myself unpopular’. ‘It’s not my place to get involved’. ‘I don’t have the right words to say’. ‘I’ll just make it worse’. ‘I’ll say something next time.’ All of those and more.
I am a Christian.
I find it incredibly hard to say those words right now, because of the impression people have of Christians in our society.
But maybe the challenge is to reclaim the word, not disown it. Maybe it’s up to us to model what being a Christian, a follower of Christ, is really all about.
That’s the challenge for me today, certainly. Maybe for you too.
