Picking up the pieces…..

We left David a couple of days ago with his life in pieces. He has been confronted with his wrongdoing. He has had to face up to the consequences of his actions.

We can only imagine what it feels like to be him right now. People have died because of what he has done. His special relationship with his God has been damaged. He has failed miserably in his own eyes.

How on earth is he going to come back from this? How will he pick himself up?

How do any of us pick ourselves up when we have failed spectacularly and hurt other people and let God down?

Well, David started in the right place if you remember. He opened up his heart to God and said sorry for all that he had done and begged to be forgiven.

He asked for a fresh start and then grabbed it with both hands.

As soon as his son is dead, he washes and eats and worships the Lord. People around him find this strange. But he explains that while the boy was still alive, there was still some hope of persuading God to have mercy on him through prayer and fasting. Now the boy is dead, there is nothing more that can be done for him. David now has to get on with the business of picking up the pieces and getting his life back together again.

David then turns to his new wife Bathsheba to comfort her in the loss of her son. They make love and she gets pregnant and later gives birth to another son Solomon (what an act of restoration and restitution! The Lord loves Solomon and has great plans for him, despite the back story……)

Meanwhile, Joab is fighting David’s corner against the Ammonites. He calls to David for help and David and his men come. David engages with battle again. David takes his place as king over all the Ammonite towns.

He is back on track.

So how do we pick ourselves up and carry on when we have failed? when we have been made to look stupid? when we have let others and God and ourselves down? when we have hurt other people? when we have done something really wrong?

How do we recover?

How do we face the world again?

It’s tough, isn’t it? Really tough. Imagine how tough it was for David….everyone must have been talking about what he had done. He must have felt to blame for the death of his son. He must have been carrying so much guilt and regret. He must have been giving himself such a hard time.

Because I was curious to see what was out there, I googled this subject and came across an article entitled 10 tips to pick yourself up after a fall. Let’s see how well David did with each of these….

Don’t relive the memories – David knows he cannot change the past. Playing it over and over again in his mind is not going to help. But understanding what’s gone wrong so that he can be ready to face a similar temptation differently next time – now that could be really helpful.

Relegate the upset to the past – What’s done is done. Now is the time to move on.  However bad things have been, David has to find a way to carry on with his head held high.

Don’t keep trying to find ‘blame’ – David could easily blame himself and beat himself up for all that has happened. Learning from mistakes is great, but dwelling on blame itself is never helpful.

Don’t mope around under your ‘comfort blanket’ – David has every reason to feel terrible – to feel sorry for himself and mourn the loss of his son. However, wallowing in self pity is a waste of valuable time. He has to come out from under his blanket and prepare for better times.

Plan ahead – What happens next is key. He has to re-establish himself as king and restore his relationship with God.

Don’t fret, ponder and dwell – David has dug a deep hole for himself but dwelling on his situation and his problems will not help him.  He needs to focus on actions, rather than the upsetting issues.

Stop looking for sympathy – David most likely had plenty of people around him saying how sorry they felt for him. This kind of sympathetic attention is nice, but could make David stuck in his problems rather than ready to move on.

Write out your recovery plans –  David is a man of action. He immediately engages with battle again. Maybe he wrote a list of actions and pinned it to the side of the tent! Ticking goals off on a list is highly motivational and would keep David focused on getting back on top.

Relax – David did this by making love to his beautiful wife – pretty sure that will have defeated stress, raised his endorphins, and helped him to breathe!

Smile! – A smile helps in all sorts of ways – David had to act like he had picked himself up, even if he didn’t feel like it inside. He had to restore the people’s confidence in him as their king.

So it seems that David has done a great job of picking up the pieces, moving on and getting on with life.

I wonder how good you think you are at picking yourself up when you get knocked down or when you fall……

This list may help you to move on – or do you have something else to add to the list that could help others?