Awkward Conversations

Awkward Conversation 1: the elders of Israel and Samuel

No offence, Samuel, we all know you’ve done a fantastic job keeping the peace in our nation all these years, but……yes, we know, there’s always a but…….but, well, we don’t know how to say this but let’s face it, you’re not getting any younger, are you? Like you, we feel it’s time for you to step down, time to take a rest and hand over the reins to someone else. It’s not that we don’t appreciate what you have done – of course we do. You have worked tirelessly and faithfully all your life for our people and have served the Lord wholeheartedly since you were a child.

So we understand why are ready to pass on the baton to your sons. That’s the normal way of doing things, isn’t it? The problem is….well, it’s not you….it’s your sons.

They’re just not up to it. They’re flaky and irresponsible and dishonest. We’ve heard rumours that they’re accepting bribes and perverting the course of justice.

They’re your boys, Samuel, we know that….but surely you can see that they are not good for the future of Israel. You must remember how it panned out with Eli’s sons. None of us could forget that easily.

Anyway, we’ve come up with a plan. It’s working pretty well for the nations all around us. I don’t know why we didn’t go for it before.

We need a king.

Simple as that.

It’s time for Israel to have a king of its own.

So we want you to find someone to be king and appoint them as leader over us.

Awkward Conversation 2: Samuel and the Lord

SAMUEL:

Lord, the elders have come to me and I’m so mad…….I can’t believe what they’re asking.

They think my boys are not doing a good job. They’re probably right. I’m not stupid. I hear the rumours too. But they’re my sons. They’re good boys deep down. The power has gone to their heads and they’ll settle down.

I could teach them. You could teach them. We could fix this. We could get it sorted.

But oh no, the elders think they know best. You won’t believe what they are demanding.

They want a king! A king!

When you are their king and have always been their king! What a cheek!

LORD:

Samuel, listen to me. Don’t take it personally. It’s not you they’ve got it on for, it’s me.

Listen to them. They’re not rejecting you. They’re rejecting me.

By asking for a king, they’re saying I am not good enough. I am not their king. They do not trust me and do not want to obey me.

All the way along, from Egypt to now, they’ve struggled to trust me and obey me. Look at how they quickly turn to other gods.

So by all means listen to them. I’ll give them a king. But make sure they understand what having a king is going to be like.

Warn them. It’s not going to be a picnic, that’s for sure.

Make sure they listen. A king will exert his authority and claim his rights. They have no idea what they are asking for and letting themselves in for.

Awkward Conversation 3: Samuel and the elders of Israel

SAMUEL

OK, so I’ve talked to the Lord and told Him what you want. He’s listened.

He needs you to understand what having a king will be like though. A king will take your sons and make them serve with his horses and chariots. Some of your sons will command his armies; some will plough the fields and reap the harvest; some will make weapons. There will be no choice. Everyone will have to do exactly what he commands.

As for your daughters, some will be made to be perfumers and cooks and bakers.

He’ll take the best of what you have and give it to his attendants. Everything you have will belong to him. He’ll take your best servants and cattle and donkeys.

You’ll get sick of it in the end. You’ll have enough of the king you have chosen.

Then we all know what you’ll do. What you’ll always do. you’ll cry out to God to deliver you from the consequences of your own decision.

And do you really think God will come to your help again?

After you have rejected him like this and chosen an earthly king instead?

You must be joking!

THE ELDERS

Just shut up and get on with it. We’ve made up our minds. We’re not listening to you. You’re just trying to scare us.

It will be fine. Better in fact. We’re sick of being different. We’re fed up with doing things differently to everyone around us.

We want to do it their way. We want to fit in. We want to be normal.

A king will lead us and go before us into battle and fight your us.

That’s what we want. We don’t want to have to rely on a God we can’t see.

We want a king. We want a king. We want a king!

 

Awkward Conversation 3: Samuel and the Lord

SAMUEL:

I tried. I really tried.

They won’t listen.

They want a king.

I’m sorry.

THE LORD:

So be it.

Listen to them and give them a king.